Are You A ‘Real Man’ If Your Woman Pays Half?

Recently in a controversial TikTok video posted Oct. 28, inside of a living room, two Black men engage in a candid conversation about finances, family and what it means to be a real man in today’s world. Their divergent approaches to handling finances and household responsibilities paint a portrait of masculinity as diverse as the community they call home.

The conversation introduces viewers to the “50/50 man,” an hourly wage worker who has had his share of financial challenges. With vigor, he opens up on how he feels his masculinity is being questioned:

“Oh I’m ‘not a man’ if I’m going 50/50 with my woman, it’s hard brother. You sit up here in your nice house, nice jewelry, nice cars, ‘aww yeah man you gotta do 100%..’ How? How brother!? If I’m making $14 an hour what do you expect!? You know, you still on that 100% ‘you not a man, you not a man.’ How? I’m still working, I’m still providing right? So what makes me not be a man, ‘cause I’m going 50/50 with my woman?”

On the other side sits a more “traditional man,” a prosperous entrepreneur who has worked hard to accumulate wealth over the years. He passionately discusses the reason he defines masculinity by being head of his household:

“Brother I applaud you, but I understand it is hard out here. But we are men, so we have to go harder, I’m not saying or trying to speak down to you my brother, by any means necessary Im not, but I want you to be reminded of something our fathers didn’t teach us, that we must go hard, and that we shouldn’t get into a relationship with a woman until we have direction.”